I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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