It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
