Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
