So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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