Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize