dude i'm inner monologue high
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
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Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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