Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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