i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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