what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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