3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We need a shit load of segways right now
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
