My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
