Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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