My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
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Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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