I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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