I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
