i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize