Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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