It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize