there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
