just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
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Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
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I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Pants are for mortals
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch