i jhust puked up my retainher.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
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and i looked up. we had an audience...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit