hotel room ftw
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
