I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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