Can Purell be used as lube?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
