Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
