Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I need to calm my uterus...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
