i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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