I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize