i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize