If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
