dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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