her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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