I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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