If i come over, it means nothing
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
