Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
