You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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