So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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