If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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