Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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