I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
