I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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