think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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