I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
