1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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