I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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