well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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