Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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