we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
