Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
