you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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