I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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