and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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