no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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