It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize