Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
